Blogicide?

See below for an email from an enthusiastic reader!  Of course, new material is in the queue, but for now we're sure this will suffice as our latest update.  Thanks to Beth and our other 9,999 readers.  Did you know PinkBike was recently nominated for Best In Show for the 2011 Bloggies?  Wow!  Thanks everyone!


Best,
PinkBike Staff


Mon, Sep 5, 2011 at 12:43 AM
Hello PinkBike Overloards, 

Long time follower, first time emailer here!  Just wondering when the blog was going to be updated next!??!!!?? I've gone out and purchased 16 flannel shirts and have been getting laid like a mason's brick ever since. Thanks for your help!  But...well....I'm in need of advice/direction in my life and it appears as though the site is no longer in operation?  Are you dead, blog? Have you offed yourself? Did you slit your website wrists longways like the girl in The Craft did and you're dead now and gone?   Are you no longer in existence?  Did you shave your head like Sinead O'Rebellion in Empire Records and decide to defy the system?  Are going through your anti-conformity phase and refusing to contribute to the World Wide Web OF LIES? Ehhhh....where are you!?  Do you need new ideas? Are you just hungry? Hungry for inspiration?  I have a fat statue in my gallery that is in need of some Spanx and I was curious if your staff had any advice on that --- it could be a starting point for your next column? Do you need any interns?  I know Adobe Photoshop and I have a Communications degree from a major state university.  Ok, Call me!   Or...like... you know... Email me! I'm really bad at leaving messages...soooo...liiiikeeee......ummm.....Is this thing still recording?  Oh my God, do I sound weird? Am I coming off weird?  Are you still there? If you're there pick up...or G-Chat me right away????  Ok.... ok...I'm just ummmm going to sign off now then.  Email me back.  About the blog.  The PinkBike. I love your website so much it hurts.  Have you ever thought about doing a website that makes fun of Thesaurus.com and calling it TheSaurus.com and making it an advice column written by a Dinosaur?  Ok. Ok.  Good. Good then. Email me. 

Sincerely, 

Beth from Bethlehem 

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On Flannel

You heard it here first:  FLANNEL IS THE SEXIEST THING ANYBODY CAN EVER WEAR.  EVER.

Yeah.  I know what your initial reaction is, but no means yes, so let’s just get on with it.  Listen up.  Now this is still a developing theory so let’s do the scholarly thing and treat it like a living body of knowledge.  It has the ability to change and morph and constantly improve, hopefully by means of collective contribution.  So as a preface to this well-researched information and to this well-tested theory, it is PinkBike’s understanding that, universally, flannel shirts are the sexiest thing a person can wear.  It applies to all genders and sexual preferences. 

So……before you start to argue and be a know-it-all pain-in-the-ass….. we are saying that if there is ONE (singular) article of clothing that looks absolutely BANGIN’ on everyone….. it is the flannel shirt.   This does not mean that a piece of flannel will make ugly people attractive…… but it does mean that it will make them more attractive. It will make everyone more attractive.  Flannel is the sexiest thing anybody can ever wear and here is why:

The Love of a Parent

You were conceived in the clouds of our coffee…over lazy brunches we alluded to you, even before we knew what you would be become.  Sure, hints were dropped, but neither of us dared to admit the road we were walking down…the eventuality of you.  Ideas were born over egg-white omelets, but with nowhere to go they’d float up and away, like Cinderella’s dreamy bubbles, flashes of brilliance each Saturday and Sunday morning that the world would sadly never see.  The truth was, we needed you, we just didn’t want to admit it.